Noby Noby Boy Reviewed by a 4-Year-Old Girl

When I thought about reviewing Noby Noby Boy, the first thing I thought was that everyone would review this unusual gem the usual way, with a score, and all that crap. Well lets leave that kind of thing to the IGN’s, GameSpots, and 1Up’s of the world. Instead, I asked a friend’s 4-Year-Old daughter a few distilled questions about the game.

Her words are blockquoted and my questions are in bold. Occasionally, she performed nonverbal actions, those are in italics.

What is “Noby Noby Boy”?

It’s a game. Noby Noby Boy! (Does a jump.) You eat stuff and poop it out. You can create a new map. Falling off the earth and coming up the chimney, too. I like eating fruit from that crazy world.

Is “Noby Noby Boy” fun?

Yes. Poop it out is the most fun.

If your cat were in “Noby Noby Boy” what would he say?

“I’m pretending I’m a worm.”

What do you think of the character, “Boy”?

I think he is happy. I like to eat flowers. I don’t like to eat houses.

Have you zoomed out and seen “Girl”, what do you think of her?

Yes. I like talking to her

Is there anything else you want to say about the game, “Noby Noby Boy”?

I like the ballerinas dancing on me. I liked when the fairy came and said ‘loading’, ‘now loading’, ‘loading’, ‘now loading’.

There you have it, Noby Noby Boy reviewed by a 4-Year-Old Girl, and I think she did a better job than most of the 20+ Year-Old “Game Journalists” with a smaller wordcount, to boot. Also, from now on the game will be referred to as “Poop it out”.

I should mention that during the course of this interview I searched google for images appropriate to this post. The reason why there is no image even after that is because I hate the internet.

iPhone Game Reviews at AtomicGamer!

feature_tdsquadHey go check out my first set of iPhone game reviews over at atomicgamer! THEY’RE SO AWESOME! THESE ARE THE GAMES THAT GOT REVIEWED!!!!!11111:

  • Wurdle

  • Black and White

  • Skybound

  • Pinball Dreaming

  • TapDefense

Developers & Publishers, email me promo codes for your games to zakk@nuclearmonster.com!! DO IT OR THE OWL WILL EAT YOU!

Congress votes Yes on the No Pant Shitting Vote!

Don't shit your pants!

There are basically two kinds of people. Those that find this image amusing, and would like to play the game associated with it (i.e. Me) and those that don’t.

If you fall into the category of those that find it amusing, click this link to go on and play the flash game called ‘Don’t Shit Your Pants” over at Kongregate. Enjoy!

If you don’t find it amusing, I am terribly sorry, but there is no game for you.

A new blogger and an indie game sale!

Indie games are cool and fun

Ahoy folks! I’m fydo and apparently zakk wants me to write some stuff on this silly blog. I like to hang out in the indie games / opensource games crowd, so I’ll try to share any interesting tidbits I pick up on. Meow?

For instance, I might mention that this weekend there is a weekend sale going on at Steam, featuring 5 pretty awesome indie games. These games are:

  • Eets
  • Gravitron 2
  • I-Fluid
  • Multiwinia
  • Trials 2

I personally know the developer of Gravitron 2 and he’s a great guy too.

So I’ll talk a little bit about Gravitron 2. It’s got a really retro look and feel to it, tight controls and a difficulty ramp that reminds me of the NES days. There are over 40 levels in the original game and the game author just recently released a map pack which adds even more. There is another update in the works involving the map editor, but I probably shouldn’t reveal too much about that. Suffice to say, Gravitron 2 is more than worth the $5, and within this indie pack, it’s a steal! (figuratively speaking, of course)

I’d love to hear your opinions about any of these games in the comments, so flame away, dear readers.

(Note that I’ll try to avoid turning my posts into advertisements in the future. Hardy har.)

You Know What, Valve?

Steam Forums Search

captcha2

“I do not approve of your method of handling this situation, good sir”*. Really, can you read that CAPTCHA? Because I can’t. Maybe it is because I’m red-green color blind. Maybe it is because you guys are a bunch of horse’s asses who don’t have a forum for second sight which is why I’m searching to see if any of your Top Men are working on it, on the forum. Whatever the reason, that captcha is unreadable no matter how many times I click refresh. So, “I do not approve of your method of handling this situation, good sir”*, Valve. Really. When I say “I do not approve of your method of handling this situation, good sir”* what I meant is “I do not approve of your method of handling this situation, good sir”* with your “I do not approve of your method of handling this situation, good sir”* and your “I do not approve of your method of handling this situation, good sir”*. If that isn’t making it clear, when a significant percentage of the teenage boys that play your games have this color deficiency, then “I do not approve of your method of handling this situation, good sir”* with whomever, but mostly just your mom.

Also, as a point of how much I am worth to you as a customer, here is that total.

*All references to swearing, sexual deviation, or other such inappropriate language have been replaced with the phrase “I do not approve of your method of handling this situation, good sir.” at the behest of the ESRB. Please click the following age-gate to unlock the swear-filter:

age-gate

Space Combat Sims for fans of X-Wing v Tie Fighter Part 1: Hardware

porkins

A lot of people like myself miss the old days. Let us then reminisce, and also blow the crap out of our enemies.

To get started, you’ll need some kind of joystick. I use Logitech joysticks because I like the twisting functionality on the stick itself for adjusting yaw on helicopters and jets in games like Battlefield 2 and sometimes roll in space sims like Freespace 2.

The two Logitech sticks I have are the Force 3D Pro and the Extreme 3D Pro. Names are kind of goofy, but they get the job done with the features i like and a reasonable price. Unfortunately, some games don’t support the force feedback. However, that can been taken as an advantage seeing as how the version without the Force Feedback costs half as much.

If you’re really cheap, you might even find an older USB stick at goodwill. I found an older USB Microsoft SideWinder there that I haven’t even tried yet. Adapters probably exist to go from gameport to USB, but I doubt they would work for joysticks unless such a product is designed specifically for them. Older gameport joysticks often required special software, unfortunately.

In my next post I’ll talk about some of the games you can play with these sticks.

What do you think? Are there some sims you want to see covered? Or maybe some sticks that I didn’t mention? Let me know in the comments below.

3-On-3 NHL Arcade (PS3) Review

nhl_arcade3 On 3 NHL Arcade is the first PSN game I’ve tried where the demo version converts to the full version with just a token download. It is also fantastic with just a few minor nitpicks, and one big one.

  • Minor: Your teams, while easily distinguishable, are just red/blue. So you can’t pick the Flyers and get their jerseys.
  • Minor: Limited player selection, you can’t pick the Flyers and get their players.
  • Giant Humongous Failure: No friend invites/searching for friend games

What were they thinking with the no friend invites! In order to play versus a friend I had to set the custom unranked game to play-to a certain number of goals so my buddy could find it when he searched for a custom game. I know the PSN isn’t the best in the world, but I’m sure that NHL 09 had some kind of system for inviting friends, right?

Despite all that, I heartily recommend NHL Arcade, it is a fun game with almost all of the complications removed. In the place of those complications remain the tight skill stick or button controls, and cartoon stylings to the characters along with power-ups.

Killzone 2 (PS3) Demo Impressions

After setting up an EU PSN account, I downloaded the Killzone 2 demo and here are my quick-take impressions as posted on my twitter feed:

  • the killzone 2 menus are neat
  • “Unass this thing” Really?
  • yay, kz2 lets you remap controls so I can use my RealTriggersâ„¢
  • I can’t make crouch a toggle, wtf?
  • KZ2 graphics are beautiful.
  • Acceleration on the view controls is a little weird, as is the fact that you can melee (rifle butt), or stick a knife into those pigs..

Finally, the gameplay is extremely similar to COD4:MW, this is not a bad thing. Right now I’m sure I buy the idea that the enemy AI is superior to that of the extreme dumbass AI in Gears 2. Though the Hellghast do seem to cycle through their routine faster, which is a nice change. It is also nice to see them attempting to flush me out with grenades instead of just vice-versa. Overall, an enjoyable demo, which ended with perhaps not the best slice of gameplay. I’m excited for the finished game later this month and will post a full review some time after the game is released then. Until then I will be content with the pile of games I haven’t finished yet and confused as to why on earth sony would push Resistence 2 over Killzone 2 last fall when KZ2 is arguably the superior game.

Instructions For Downloading the Killzone 2 Demo without a Pre-Order

Many folks are like me, unwilling or unable to pre-order Killzone 2 from Gamestop in order to get the Killzone 2 demo. For whatever reason, here are step-by-step instructions for setting up an EU PSN account so you can download that demo without pre-ordering the full game:

  1. Create a new e-mail address from any free service like gmail.com
  2. Create a new user on your Playstation 3, you can do this from the left-most column of options on the XMB.
    I suggest using a name like <YourRegularUsernameHere>EU. I have TimeDoctor as my regular PSN name, and TimeDoctorEU for the EU PSN downloads.
  3. Proceed to the second icon from the right of the XMB, “Playstation Network” and make a new Playstation Network account.
  4. Here you will want to select the United Kingdom as your Country or Region.
  5. Select English as your language, of course.
  6. Use the e-mail address you created earlier in the dialogs that follow.
  7. Use the username you created earlier as your new online ID.
  8. The last thing you’ll need to do is to find a valid address in the UK, and enter it.
    I recommend placing yourself at TimeDoctor Games, Onslow House, Onslow Street, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 4TN
    But that is just a suggestion 🙂
  9. Go into the Playstation Store and download your free demo of Killzone 2!

Now you’re all set! If anything went wrong, feel free to ask in the comments. Don’t forget about all the other cool paid content the brits get that we don’t like Command and Conquer PS1 and Dark Mist! Also, these instructions can be used for almost any region, just find another mailing address and email address.