Metal Wolf Intermission

After the break witness Metal Wolf Chaos, the finest XBox 1 exclusive, and bizarrely never released here. I played this one during my time as a microsoft tester. I wish they would bring it out on the XBox originals function of the XBL marketplace, at least.

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The “No Goo Left Behind” Act

World of GooYesterday I found out about the World of Goo sale on Steam, via CAG, just before it ended.

Today I’m rescuing a goo-lady of, shall we say, “Ample carriage?”

Regardless, I’m escorting her down a red carpet, oh and look now, she’s just killed all of her fans. The good thing about this shallow-yet-not-insubstantial debutante is that her fanbase is leading her to a series of gears that will grind her up into the raw materials of beauty.

At least, that is beauty as far as goo is concerned.

So what is World of Goo, and what am I talking about?

World of Goo is an excellent indie physics puzzle game from 2dboy. You can get it on Steam, or a boxed copy via this amazon link. It’s so overlooked that I wanted to give it a mention. Now is the time to go back and try it if you haven’t.

I was like you, having only played through the free demo on Steam, I ignored the atmosphere of the game and dismissed it as shallow cuteness. Just as shallow as the gooball lady?

Now, having played more in the full game, I can hopefully cure you of your apathy. Give World of Goo a chance. I’m only up to Chapter 3, but the game is definitely more substantial than you might think from having just played the demo. It is even available for Linux now! Apple fans can get it, too. One license from 2dboy’s site appears to let you play it on any of those three platforms, as well.

I dare you to try playing it without a smile on your face. Everything from the overworld to the tower-building metagame put one on mine. Each level left me feeling good about my intelligence for having completed it, the way a good puzzle game should. Beyond the demo you also find new kinds of goo that make the solutions to each puzzle feel different.

Even the music is brilliant, but don’t take my word for it, download the soundtrack for free, from the developer. Maybe not something you’ll listen to much before you’ve played the game, but it is demonstrative of the game’s quality.

That metagame I mentioned is also pretty cool, it keeps you moving through the levels, and gives you a reason to go back to them. You see, each time you finish a level you can have a few balls of goo left over. The metagame has you employing those gooballs as joists and struts in support of a giant tower that you’re building to compete with everyone on the internet. It is pretty nifty, you’ll see what I mean when you try the game.

Maybe you’ll even send some ample goo-people to the spinning gears of doom, too.

Ghillie Suits by Paul Masson

How not to be seen.

Are you tired of your normal Ikea shopping trip like I am?

Maybe you’re bored with the usual ho-hum browsing, collecting cheap crap, and finally queuing for the register.

Well the next time I’m going, I’m going in a ghillie suit made out of KÃ¥rtøn like this fine German fellow. Check out the awesome videos and more pictures of his hijinks over at his site. The videos are also included after the break, as his site appears be offline.

Unfortunately you can’t expect much of a reaction out of the German citizens in the videos. Apparently Performance Artists will randomly assault people in Germany, thus the Germans are surprised by nothing.

In America, however, you might be assaulted in a fine dining establishment by Orson Welles, after the break along with the videos of Urban Camo @ Ikea:

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50 Cent: Blood on the AtomicGamer iPhone Game Reviews

Yo Fitty!

50 Cent doing his best to appear interested, tough, and ready for anything.

Fitty, dey got some new iphone game reviews up!

50, not pleased with the iPhone's established genre of farting apps.

Naw man, it ain’t like dat, dey gets some shit that aint fart appz, yo!

50 Cent, hears, and is interested in, expanding his iPhone horizons beyond flatuence applications.

Yeah dawg, that is right! They got that shit up at atomicgamer! I heard they reviewed:

  • Days of Thunder
  • Galcon
  • Scrabble
  • Truck vs Grenade

feature_tdsquad

But yeah, and if you follow the TimeDoctor.org Twitter Feed, you’ll even get a whack at some free iPhone games soon, what about that, Fitty!?

50 Cent is now overjoyed, and will follow the twitter feed!

Battlefield 2

You know your fancy ass gaming rig can run this game well, people are still super into it, and it came out almost 5 years ago. I’m still playing it, the patches have fixed it a little but it still takes more time to load a level than Crysis. Though I personally think it is more fun than Crysis.

What is it?

Hook your joystick up, find some fools to play with, and go play THAT, fool!

Time Doctor Dot Org Official Greasemonkey Script

Hello, kids. Old Man Feld here. I’m bringing you today something we’ve been working on for a while now —

greasemonkeyOur official Greasemonkey script! (yayyy)

Anyway, here’s the deal. We’ve got some code on the site and we’ve identified you as being a valued consumer of our content. We like you so much that we’re willing to allow you to test this. Remember, it’s only in Alpha and not all features are implemented yet, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it nonetheless. We’re really open to feedback and feature suggestions.

Alright, I have to head out for now. You can find it here. And remember kids, before you tap it you must wrap it!

-Old Man Feld

Gang Garrison 2, A Team Fortress 2 De-Make

ganggarrison
I’d heard about it before, but never given it a chance, now I know why I was an idiot. Gang Garrison 2 is an hilariously awesome version of Team Fortress 2, minus the 3D, but including TCP/IP (or UDP perhaps) networking. The music is a series of chiptune recreations, the graphics look like the screenshot after the break. Go play the damn game (local mirror), you fool!

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Keita Takahashi is Awesome.

noby_noby-pacmanHe updated the Playstation blog today with this image, and the following text, plus some other stuff:

This photo was taken on January 1st when I came in to work to fix bugs.

As you can easily imagine, there was no one in the office that day except for the security guards. I had a lot of fun freely taking pictures with Boy! I remember carrying him to the main entrance laughing and taking pictures of Boy wrapped around the Pac-Man statue. When I was planning on using this photo for the banner, I was told that Pac-Man stood out more and the picture made it look like it was a Pac-Man game. I just answered back saying, “Players may buy the game by mistaking it for a Pac-Man game! Wouldn’t it be nice?”

Also, I finally have an internet connection in my new apartment and have tried Noby Noby Boy for myself. It is quite the thing and should be demonstrative of why more people should own Playstation 3 consoles. Other consoles may have a few interesting games on their digital distribution platforms, but none are as original or creative as Noby Noby Boy Poop it out.

Noby Noby Boy Reviewed by a 4-Year-Old Girl

When I thought about reviewing Noby Noby Boy, the first thing I thought was that everyone would review this unusual gem the usual way, with a score, and all that crap. Well lets leave that kind of thing to the IGN’s, GameSpots, and 1Up’s of the world. Instead, I asked a friend’s 4-Year-Old daughter a few distilled questions about the game.

Her words are blockquoted and my questions are in bold. Occasionally, she performed nonverbal actions, those are in italics.

What is “Noby Noby Boy”?

It’s a game. Noby Noby Boy! (Does a jump.) You eat stuff and poop it out. You can create a new map. Falling off the earth and coming up the chimney, too. I like eating fruit from that crazy world.

Is “Noby Noby Boy” fun?

Yes. Poop it out is the most fun.

If your cat were in “Noby Noby Boy” what would he say?

“I’m pretending I’m a worm.”

What do you think of the character, “Boy”?

I think he is happy. I like to eat flowers. I don’t like to eat houses.

Have you zoomed out and seen “Girl”, what do you think of her?

Yes. I like talking to her

Is there anything else you want to say about the game, “Noby Noby Boy”?

I like the ballerinas dancing on me. I liked when the fairy came and said ‘loading’, ‘now loading’, ‘loading’, ‘now loading’.

There you have it, Noby Noby Boy reviewed by a 4-Year-Old Girl, and I think she did a better job than most of the 20+ Year-Old “Game Journalists” with a smaller wordcount, to boot. Also, from now on the game will be referred to as “Poop it out”.

I should mention that during the course of this interview I searched google for images appropriate to this post. The reason why there is no image even after that is because I hate the internet.