This week has another American favorite, greedy bastards presented in the most presentable way possible, screaming for money.
One of my favorite podcasts, Radiolab, covered the trading floor of the New York Mercantile Exchange. It is only ten minutes long and is quite fun. If you enjoy that one and are looking for more, check out their War of the Worlds episode next.
Also this week, the Cheap Ass Gamer podcast was as consistently good as it always is. I have to give them credit for recommending Pain on the Playstation 3 PSN store. Tried that out after their last episode where they suggested it and I really enjoyed it. It is surprisingly fun for five minutes of playing, though the fact that you have to complete a tutorial before playing the actual game is terrible.
The 23rd scroll, 9th verse, of the ancient texts says:
Beware the beast man, for he is the devil’s pawn. Alone among God’s primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother’s land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him. Drive him back into his jungle lair: For he is the harbinger of death.
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey, a monkey with an idea for a new game franchise. So, tonight as I watched my second favorite (see below post) film, I realized that an opportunity for game development was staring me right in the face.
The film, if you have not guessed it, is the legendary Planet of the Apes and the idea is two-fold.
Firstly, I think that a Planet of the Apes Massive Multiplayer Game is just what the internet needs. This game will be the prime place for geeks, the obese, shut-ins, the handicapped, dystopians, and the general Comic Book Store Guys of the world to flex their ape-might against that irritating group known as humanity. The same folks who belittled us er people in High School and picked up all of the mute women (hereafter Nova’s) that were meant for us.
When you sign up, for a mere $40 a month, you too will have your choice of player classes including:
Chimpanzee: these are the intelligentsia, by varying degrees, all mimicking the five films, from physician to scientist, theologian, and young activist.
Gorilla: grunt, military, street cleaner, and orange-jumpsuit clad revolutionary.
The Scum Of Future Earth (sssh, don’t blow the ending) human (mute slave, talking slave, oppressor, and turtleneck-sporting liberal). Word of warning for human chars; watch out for the dreaded lobotomist!
Imagine varying game environments from muddy beaches, to straw huts, and the desolate concrete jungles of future-Los Angeles. Depending on which server you log onto, you will face new challenges based on one of the film environments.
You will encounter familiar faces from the movie as you play the game. Everyone from Cornelius to Dr. Zaius, Taylor, and the greatest of them all, General Urko will either aid-in, or stymie, your quest to be top dog (or ape).
Secondly, that been said, perhaps the M.M.O. arena is a bit too overdone. How about we go the Lego Planet of the Apes route? All of the classic film series are doing it (Star Wars, Batman, Indiana Jones), why not the second greatest (see below post) of them all?!? I love you Dr. Zaius!
Hybridcars has a post up detailing more information on some cars we’ll be seeing from Honda in next two years:
The first new dedicated hybrid vehicle, due in 2009, will be offered as a 5-door hatchback with seating for five passengers and will employ an exterior design concept that evokes the FCX Clarity fuel cell vehicle. With the new hybrid, Honda is aiming to produce the most affordable hybrid on the market. Fuel economy for the new car is expected to exceed 40 miles per gallon.
This week we’re listening and watching the best America has on offer. Even though Zero Punctuation (after the break) is really made in from another nation, it is about grand theft auto which is currently set in New York/Liberty, City. Oh, and your mortagage costs a lot:
The Giant Pool of Money: A special program about the housing crisis. We explain it all to you. What does the housing crisis have to do with the collapse of the investment bank Bear Stearns? Why did banks make half-million dollar loans to people without jobs or income? And why is everyone talking so much about the 1930s? It all comes back to the Giant Pool of Money.
Metal Gear Online Beta: I played it, it’s fun. Yes it isn’t perfect. Yes it requires multiple logins to be created. Yes the controls still aren’t great. Yes snapping necks as Solid Snake when everyone else is generic militiaman or genome soldiers is the best multiplayer experience I’ve had recently.
Like much of the first worlds’ over-fed population, last year I went out and indulged in a flat-screen television.Consequently, like the rest of flat-screen T.V. buyers I found out that my old C.R.T.—based entertainment center was inadequate for the new wideness of L.C.D.
The temporary (over a year) solution was to simply put the L.C.D. television on top of the old outdated Ikea unit and fill the now empty square with miscellaneous D.V.D.’s and video games.Needless to say, this looked pretty ridiculous and the absurdity was only compounded by the bowing of the now top-heavy center.
With all of my loot blown on the T.V., I could not afford a fancy stand nor would any of these compact new flat-screen friendly entertainment centers fit all of my capitalist wares of component stereo, D.V.D./V.C.R. combo, C.D. player, cable box, record player, center channel speaker, video game systems, and gobs and gobs of media.What was I to do?
Well, inspired by ikeahacker.blogspot.com, I had to look no further than my Ikea Pax wardrobe.This 93” tall utilitarian behemoth is nothing more than shelves where I put my clothes.However, the idea came to me that it might also serve as a good entertainment center, just in need of a little hacking.
The Pax unit I purchased in 2006 was $111.28.This included the box itself and six shelves.I figured for that price I would have all of the entertainment center storage I needed plus I would undercut the price of a smaller (inadequate), however, T.V. specific unit by at least $60, according to what I had seen listed.
So I saved my pennies and took my measurements to make sure my 37” television would fit inside my, what happens to be, 39” wide wardrobe and I put caution and shelf strength to the wind and headed down to Ikea.
It turns out they have inflation in Sweden.In 2008 my aforementioned Pax configuration cost me $149.80.However, I was still beating the price of some of the smallest T.V. stands by a nice margin.
Now, you might be saying to yourself, “this entertainment center idea is not a hack, it is a repurposed wardrobe!”However, you would be wrong because the load-bearing composite-board (the integral life force of all Ikea furniture) had to be drilled to make way for wires.These holes are very important as without them my little electronic boxes do not receive power or connectivity.
So, with my Dremel-esque (borrowed) tool, I took bit to flimsy composite and watched many, many particles of dust fly.My cuts were less than precise, however, I knew (read hoped) they would be largely concealed.I measured shelves’ distance by the screw hole (not to be confused with my drilled holes, these line the interior of the cabinet for shelf hanging purposes) for tight fit and maximum storage and up went my Ikea hacked Pax wardrobe-cum entertainment center.
Sitting here enjoying the completed project, I am very happy.It probably took way to long to finish (as I kept putting the shelf sinkers in screw holes that did not line up their pairings) but the completed unit is just what my little apartment needed.A towering faux antique wood stained monstrosity that screams “coach potato.”Shine on you Swedish diamond!