An Unfortunate Guide to Upgrading Ubuntu:

Springtime is when a young man’s fancy turns towards upgrading, enclosed within please find a handy guide for dealing with these desires:

1. Boot Ubuntu for first time in two months
2. Hardlock at GDM
3. Look up the wikipedia entry for SysRq
4. Try SysRq combos a few times
5. Wait a minute
6. Give up
7. Reboot via the big button
8. GOTO Step 1
9. Escape once you figure out that you need to boot into “rescue mode”
10. Uninstall “envy” nvidia drivers
11. Update Ubuntu normally.
12. Note that your gnome desktop is now missing your wallpaper
13. Cry gently into your “Penguin”
14. Repeat at next upgrade time.