WWDC 2023 Offers Exciting New Opportunities for Acquiring Long-Term Life-threatening Illnesses Including COVID-19

Cuptertino, California — Apple, Inc today announced the dates for their World Wide Developers Conference for 2023. This year to be held from June 5th-9th with a special in-person super-spreader event at Apple Park on June 5th.

Apple, Inc, announced that the super-spreader event would be available for current Apple Developer Program members, Apple Entrepreneur Camp alumni, Swift Student Challenge winners, as well as Current Apple Developer Enterprise Program members.

Apple CEO Tim Cook had the following to say about the super-spreader event: “Last year we had so many developers come to Apple Park and spread COVID both on their way there and back. This year we are more excited than ever to do it again with lower requirements for attendees than ever during the ongoing pandemic that has killed millions of people worldwide.

The lower requirements for attendees include:

  • No COVID-19 testing before, after, or during the super-spreader event.
  • No masking requirements at all.
  • No vaccine requirements at all.
  • If you feel like REALLY sick and you’re okay with missing it, you could stay home if you want to miss it… 😉
  • No mandatory physical distancing. Get close, come cough on real Apple developers.

Interested parties can sign up online at Apple’s website. People who wish to avoid long-term life-threatening illnesses and disease can stay home and miss out on all the fun.